Are you familiar with the words "flattery spending"?
Of course its grammatical implication can't be farfetched, since it clearly implies that it is an act which is dictated by flattery.
However, its fabric and processes obviously have deeper roots which require analysis.
For example, in ensuring best Expenditure practices, how is flattery spending a factor?
How exactly does it constitute emotional spending or pose as loopholes that a scammer may exploit to dupe someone?
Finally, what are its triggers, and how can we successfully combat it?
Answering these important queries will be our main focus in this edition of De-Scamming The Scam:
Resisting Fraud And Emotional Spending.
To stay glued to this exercise, you can click on the hyperlinked subtopics below:
This is a given:
If you spent money without proper consideration or thinking, it is normally awarded a number of spending tags covering a range of "impulsive, reckless, extravagant, lavish, frivolous", etc.
However, if you made judicious expenditure it is globally referred to as any of these: "frugal, thrifty, prudent, wise, responsible, Budget-conscious", etc.
How would you then define "Flattery Spending"?
Let's first examine the main or pivotal word in that combination to guide our knowledge.
Flattery is a tool with many teeth, being in one instance the practice of praising somebody. Most often, it's done in a way that is apparently not sincere or honest, and is definitely a design to get something from the person who's bring flattered.
In more targeted terms,
Flattery is another word for
adulation or
blandishment.
It consists primarily of expressing excessive compliments to someone.
Its aim?
To ingratiate themselves with the subject.
Also, it can be employed as pick-up lines to woo somebody, particularly in romantic and courtship settings.
Flowing from the above definitions, Flattery Spending is unique, in the sense that it refers to expenditure that's exclusively motivated by flattery.
In clear terms, it captures situations whereby someone spends money due to these reasons:
- deceptive praises
- ego-massaging words which makes them feel appreciated
- to feel good
For security reasons, you ought to understand that scammers have correctly identified flattery as a key element of the Psychology of Consumer Scams.
However, before we proceed on that, can we find out what factors trigger such spending habits in people?
In order words, why do some individuals love being "flattered"?
It is a personal weakness, no doubt about that.
As an emotional phenomenon, its roots are buried deeply in very strong desires for satisfaction, rewards and validation.
All these aggregate to a believe that:
1. It can boost their confidence
and enhances their ego.
2. It would give them
a (false) feeling of being special and valued.
3. It may also create
a deceptive sense of happiness in individuals
4. Again, it is most likely
to bring them admiration in the eyes of others or their peers.
5. It is going to enhance
their personal integrity and importance
6. It would fulfil
their energetic wish or desire to gain validation and be accepted by others.
7. Additionally,
it gives them a sense of success.
8. Flattery equally makes it easier
for them to interact socially.
This is particularly true concerning those who have low self-esteem and are unsure of themselves.
9. Moreover, it satisfies
their emotional cravings for positive attention.
10. Finally,
even though it could only be a temporary thing, it can temporarily lift their mood.
At this point, it becomes pertinent to ask:
What are the features or dynamics of Flattery Spending?
Let's look at some of them presently:
1. People may spend
to gain more flattery, in order to have a sense of superiority and control over others.
2. They may also throw
money to attract praise-singing, not minding about its being sincere or not, as long as they feel they are impressing others, friends and family members in particular.
3. Again, through this
flattery-dictated spending style, they are currying self-satisfaction and simple ways to feel better about themselves.
4. Certain individuals also indulge
in it in order to hide their insecurities, such as inferiority complex, stress, and anxieties.
5. Others would embark
on flattery spending on other certain folks.
For example, buying insincere complimentary cards or organizing ego-massaging parties.
This is usually because they believe they could gain rewards or something tangible in return from those they are flattering.
6. It is also done
by someone in search of a sense of belonging, to enable them to fit in with a certain group or peers.
7. Similarly, as a form
of emotional spending, it is an exercise individuals sometimes use to seek or gain respect and acceptance from someone they admire.
8. Additionally, it is an
ego-baiting exercise.
This involves spending money or expending a lot of effort to feed someone's ego or vanity.
Ultimately the goal is to get something from them.
9. Furthermore,
it's an ingratiating spending activity with intentional motive:
This is focused pleasing somebody and eventually getting them to grant favours and privileges to others, such as promotion, contract awards, etc.
It is a common practice in informal sectors, business environments, and associations, etc.
Now that we have examined the basic foundations of flattery spending, can we now try to identify some of its effects on those who practice it?
1. Money is wastefully expended
on unnecessary activities or things.
2. It can lead to financial
problems and embarrassment later in the future.
3. Your self-esteem
may improve temporarily but definitely diminish in real terms in the long run.
4. Being used to it
can make you to lose every sense of reality.
It may make you to become addicted to paying for compliments and status.
5. Being fixated on flattery-spending
cannot establish true or genuine opinions, self-image, and credibility. It can only work relationships which, at best, are superficial and fleeting.
6. Likewise, constantly indulging
in it takes negative tolls on one's mentality.
For instance, they may become more materialistic and believe they can get whatever they want by throwing money at it.
7. Remember that bit about it not lasting long?
By the time the bubble bursts and the chickens have come home to roost, you may start hearing unpleasant tunes from others.
Then you may become host to feelings of guilty about everything sooner or later.
8. Predictably, consistently indulging in brown-nosing could damage your self-worth.
The more you do it the less you get to trust in yourself.
In due course, you may lose faith in your own ability to deliver or perform.
9. Moreover, it is absolutely bad because it can kill your self-confidence.
The longer it continues the more it destroys your ability to be self-reliant or independent.
Incrementally it encourages you to dependent on others’ opinions about you.
Once they have identified or observed that you are susceptible to flattery, here's how scammers will attack you:
1. You Will Get Fake Compliments:
The platform hardly matters.
It could be on social media, sms, email campaigns, verbal communication or phonecalls.
You will get flattered with a view to cajole you to recklessly commit yourself or finances.
Look at this sample scam appeal:
“You have so much prospects for success. I want to help you grow your wealth.'
Watch it: the aim is to lure money out of you.
2. You Will Receive Deceptive Friendship Simulations:
They will use sweet talk, praise-singing words, etc, to win or gain your trust.
Once they have succeeded, they will start asking for money or steal your identity to perpetrate fraud.
3. They will Exploit Your Desire For Admiration:
They could impersonate famous personalities to swindle you.
For instance, they may claim they are celebrities who greatly admire you.
Watch out: along the line they soon seeking for assistance.
4. They Will Puncture Your Desire To Be Loved:
You will receive intense praise by somebody desiring to be in a relationship with you.
Qualities you hardly possess will be extolled.
You will experience serious efforts to develop emotional attachment with you.
Ultimately, they will start asking for money.
5. You Will Be Flattered For Business Skills You Know You Lack:
Because flattery is a two-way road, you enjoy it even when you know the accolade is untrue.
Scammers will Exploit that, and compliment your skills.
They will promise you lucrative deals and offer you fake business offers, usually to trick you to provide your bank details.
6. They Will Flatter You As Being Charitable:
You may realize that you are not, but since you are fixated on flattery, why not?
So you get flattered about your supposed generosity.
Beware of Fake Charities: very soon you will be invited to make donations.
7. Your Inbox Will Host Flattering Phishing Emails:
They will use flattering coinage or language pander to your ego and desire for validation, relevance, or lofty status.
Through this you may be tricked into revealing your personal details like passwords, etc.
8. Employing Flattery, They Will Present Fake Job Offers:
Whatever information they have gathered on you, they will leverage to flatter you.
Everything goes: praising your credentials, skills, prospects, potentials, (most of them manipulated to please your ego) etc.
They will play all the flattery cards to lure you into paying for fake job opportunities.
9. Fabricating Rewards To Suit Your Openness To Flattery:
They will inform you that you are very close to realize your dreams of becoming a success at last.
You will be told I'm flattery language and flamboyant "Congratulations!
You made it at last.
You just won our online Best User Award worth $1000,000.
All you you is click the link and fill a form to process the payment."
Watch it: if you click that link every information you provide thereafter becomes scam property to be used for fraud and identity theft
10. Social Media Flattery:
Finally, they could be trying to gain your trust through social media flattery activities.
This means profusely and consistently submitting positive complements on your online posts.
Given enough time, they could embark on scamming you once they feel you are now in there corner.
1. Be truthful to yourself about your true condition:
Identify the difference Truth & Flattery.
Don't look to see or hear something makes you feel good: it will only attract lies and sycophancy to you.
Instead, embrace your own reality and work to improve it genuinely.
2. Don't Believe Everything You Hear Or See.
Be Skeptical.
Remember what the law says about an accused bring presumed innocent until proven guilty?
Ditto applies here!
Just because someone says nice things about you, doesn't mean they are good or honest.
Doubt it all until you are absolutely certain it's true.
3. Be Wary Of Undue Praise:
Stay Alert and watch out for red lights.
Once someone begins to praise you needlessly press all your mental alarm bells.
You can be sure they are not genuine so block them out.
4. Self-Examine Before You Act:
If somebody is unnecessarily complementing ...
If anyone gets down to praising your skills ....
If. ... and If ....
Think about it before you respond!
Don't allow it to go into your head or affect your decision making.
Ask yourself what it's all about and be sure it's genuine before you act.
5. "Why are They So Nice?"
If someone is overly nice to you, ask yourself why they are doing that.
It's even more essential to ask such questions when strangers or people you barely know start being nice out of the blue.
Question why they are suddenly trying to make you feel good.
6. Always Seek A Second Opinion:
Your trust must not be cheap.
Don't just give it out to anybody, no matter how charming or sweet-talking they seem to be.
Seek advice from trusted and reliable friends and family members before you render any response.
7. Be Objective And Down-to-earth:
Never allow flattery to cloud your judgment.
Put things in their proper perspectives and prioritize facts over praise.
In short, base all your actions on facts and none on flattery.
8. Beware Of Fake Empathy:
Don't fall for expressions of unsolicited or sudden empathy, especially from strangers.
They will characteristically pretend to understand or care about you just to gain your trust and ultimately dupe you.
9. Set realistic goals that are not meant to impress others but which rather based on your own standards.
Do the needful for yourself and not for accolade.
Believe me, the only person worth impressing is your very self.
10. Develop self-awareness And confidence in yourself.
Identify and understand your own values, beliefs, and motivations, in order to build a stronger sense of self.
This will assist you to stop craving or spending for flattery.
11. Surround yourself with genuine and trustworthy people.
Build enduring relationships with only those who support and accept you as you really are, who wouldn't pressurize you to be something else.
That helps you to be your natural self.
12. Stop looking for external praise or validation.
Do things only because they bring you joy and fulfilment - and never because you want others to praise you.
Be compassionate and kind to yourself.
Accept yourself as you are, flaws and all, because if you don't who else will?
It's no use trying to flatter-spend your way into what you are not, when the answer is right inside of you.
13. Allow yourself to be open to constructive criticism.
A good feedback based on truth brings about genuine growth and improvement.
On the contrary, flattery parades lies and only leads to stagnation or failure.
14. Develop a growth mindset
Rather than looking for shortcuts to relevance or superior status, you should concentrate on learning, growing, improving, and actually achieving your desired goals.
Flattering-spending can't get you there.
Conclusion
To round up, expending money on flattery is a dangerous and risky habit
At one level it can turn you to an attractive target for scam activities.
Similarly, it could engulf you in a web of self-deception, damage your growth mentality, and permanently disrupt your ability to attain genuine success in life.
However, you can confront this challenge head-on and successfully overcome them by squarely accepting your reality, shinning flattery, not playing to the gallery, and refusing to throw money at it.
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