Considering the main focus of this blog, which is Preventing Breakup And Scam In Interpersonal Relationships, our focus today is on examining negative personality traits.
How can we identify and fix our personal weaknesses or fault-lines in order to prevent breakup and scam in our emotional and financial relationships?
Obviously, self-examination, discipline, and self-reformation are very important elements in this context.
Click the subtopics links below to jump-start the discussion:
- What's There To Fix?
- Factors Responsible For Challenges
- Why You Must Change Your Style
- 8 Steps To Repair
Broken Fences To Fix
In every relationship, recognizing individual fault-lines, or weaknesses, is key to averting conflicts and separation..
Likewise, identifying their triggers or causes is essential to finding actionable solutions to them.
By the way, what are the common triggers for interpersonal crises?
What challenges do couples have to tackle on a regular basis?
Indeed, this query becomes relevant, irrespective of whether a couple is married, dating, engaged, or merely lovers living together.
What are the nagging unbecoming character traits which are begging for urgent attention or fixing?
All these variables and more are the crucial elements which when ignored, effectively create grounds for breakdowns and scam amongst partners or spouses.
What this means is that they have to be aggressively targeted and tackled, in order to salvage your association.
Take as an instance: if a machine or system is working perfectly, is there any need trying to fix it?
A healthy person needs no Pain-killer drugs, or life-saving surgery.
Again, if your bucket is already filled to its brim, what's the point in pouring water into it any farther?
However, what "if"?
What happens if it's only half-full or even outrightly empty?
What if there are no smiles in your home?
What if from morning till night the only experience in your home is a display of quarrels upon quarrels?
A lot of What ifs, I am sure you have noticed.
But that's what uncertainties are all about.
When you are dating somebody, you tend to (wrongly) assume that you know your partner very well.
What with the giddy emotions of infatuation or love, of course that's understandable!
We can easily fall under the impression that we know everything about ourselves.
We can assume that what we already know is enough knowledge to motivate us to live together or get married.
Nevertheless, experience has shown that nothing can be farther from the truth.
Sooner rather than later, you get to discover that all that glitters is not gold.
It suggests that everything is usually not what it appears to be.
Because, to your chagrin, you may subsequently discover something shocking about the person you thought you were an authority on or knew so well.
Could you believe they may turn out to be someong you indeed know next to nothing about?
This is because appearance can indeed be misleading. Check this: merely dating is never the same in weight and reality with living together.
In truth, you can't truly understand or know someone without staying under the same room with them for a considerable period.
Dating affords rmuch oom for self-boosting and deceptive packaging.
You might easily think that you are interacting with the original merchandise. Sometimes that could be so, but most times it's not.
Suddenly, you might discover that can't agree on issues anymore.
For example, the guy you once considered so neat and fantastic in dressing turns out to be domestically lousy and messy.
Alas! it develops that two lovebirds can no longer fly together peacefully in the same space.
Let me break it down even more, for further clarity.
My own experience made me to understand that it is only when you start cohabiting that you begin to realize each other's faults or strength.
That's when it dawn's on you that both of you are not without weaknesses.
It forces you to acknowledge that a lot of fixing needs to be done, if you want your relationship to survive.
Factors For Relationship Bottlenecks
As a result of everything we discussed earlier, you may begin to ask yourself questions.
For instance:
What can be the cause of this development?
Why am I having issues with my guy, whom I used to love so much?
I have consulted my own years of marital experience and come up with the following factors, which I believe largely cover the track field:
1. The euphoria is over, the burble has burst, and true colors are now exposed.
You once thought you knew your spouse or partner, now you realized you didn't.
As you have discovered, he or she is not the angel you once believed.
What are you going to do about that?
How you handle it can either deepen your relationship or tear things apart.
2. Proximity blues. Sharing same space or living together can create its own contradictions.
It's especially so because you have to share virtually everything, which has a way of limiting or reducing self-independence and freedom.
By failing to imbibe this spirit of sharing and collectivity, you can only experience the harsh side of your partnership.
3. Another cause, is when reality sets in.
After a dream always comes a waking. Moving from dating into wedlock or marriage can sometimes be compared to transiting from euphoria tto a state of rude awakening.
Refusal to stop fantasizing or facing the reality of resolving differences can mess things up.
4. Another factor is Personality Uniqueness.
I am sure we can all relate with the fact that habits are not the same, because everyone grows up with individual-specific pattern of behaviour.
If we can't behave properly towards one another, it's definitely going to lead to stress and disaffection.
5. Also, let's not forget that individual mindsets vary from one person to another.
This is a fact of life: we can never think alike on every issue.
If you can't show respect for each other's thoughts and ideas on common or everyday situations, it's no wonder why you are always disagreeing.
6. Personal backgrounds also differ and may lead to stressful relationship.
We all come from different homes and classes. When this reality is allowed to become a divisive element, it is likely to negatively affect your relationship.
7. Again, tastes and preferences are often different.
Whereby these cannot be accommodated and tolerated it poses a problem.
8. Next in line are conflicting manner of handling issues.
Simply put, people possess peculiar characteristics which make them distinct from one another.
By that same token, their approach to issues or manner of managing things or reacting to them, will equally not be uniform.
Needless to say therefore, when this reality is mishandled, problems will always arise.
9. Moving forward, peer group influence is another factor, especially if it generates negative vibes.
If you are moving with the wrong crowd or friends, it's a given that you could become influenced by wrong advices and start exhibiting negative behaviour.
This will notmally cause problems in your relationship.
10. Also, too much familiarity can rear up ugly heads as a sign of what a Nigerian slang refers to as 'See Finish'.
What this simply means is this: when you constantly see them do the same things repeatedly, talk in predictable ways, etc, it can become routine, monotonous, and boring
It's not supposed to happen but then it does, by luring you to begin to take your partner for granted rather than appreciating them.
11. Let's not about forget money issues.
People usually defer in their attitudes towards finances. While some could be fastidious and prudent, others may be careless, extravagant, or wasteful.
Why You Need To Change Your Style
1. Accepting And Coping With Reality
I don't believe there is any couple on earth who went into a relationship primarily to fight or disagree.
It's usually because of love.
So, whenever the reality of individual differences and contradictions set in, it is best to fix yourselves instead of letting things slide from bad to worse.
2. To interact well and achieve better understanding of yourselves.
Poor interaction amongst couples is also a common factor that causes rows.
If you are not communicating effectively, you are never going to achieve any good understanding of each other and that can only lead to more disagreements.
3. Also, you should be a role model, both to your partner and to yourself.
It's even more important whereby you already have children or other family members around.
You ought to change your style so that you can be a good example to others.
By doing so, you will be able to portray a good image of yourself and others will find you worthy of being emulated and be proud of you.
4. Even if nothing is at stake, there's nothing wrong in self-reforming to improve yourself.
Whether or not your union faces a storm, working on your own weaknesses to align with collective goals is very essential.
5. To bring the best out of your partner.
Changing your ways is not only for your own good, it will also benefit your partner.
You can only challenge somebody to turn a new leaf by exhibiting positive habit and exemplary character.
6. To save your union
This is the crux of the matter.
You are not alone.
You are in a partnership.
You live with somebody.
Two of you are involved and there's no wishing it away
If you want it to work, then you must have to fix whatever calls for fixing.
7. To enhance your mental health
Renewing yourself is essential for your own mental health too
A toxic environment, constant arguments and stress, are definitely not what any doctor will prescribe for a patient.
If only for the sake of your own wellbeing and mental health, you must correct the correctable.
8. For self-enpowerment. Negative habits are evidences of personal weakness.
If you are in their grip, you can never be in charge of yourself or your affairs.
For instance, you need to imbibe financial self-discipline in order to enjoy financial security and avoid being scammed.
This means that, in order to transform your fortunes and regain control over your life, you have to fix whatever it is you are doing wrong.
9. To Improve Your Self-worth.
How much exactly are you worth, to yourself and to others?
If it is true that everyone desires to be respected and valued, then it is very important for you to examine yourself.
You must correct your personal flaws, so that you can enhance your integrity and earn the respect you wish to deserve - especially from your spouse.
8 Steps To Repair Your Personality
1. When you remedy your personal errors and begin to do things in an acceptable manner, everyone gains.
Not only will your association become healthier, you will also enjoy personal growth.
In essence you will become a better person who can be positively proud of yourself.
So look inwards at your habits honestly and frankly.
Do you like what you see?
If it's encouraging disagreements or causing discordant tunes between you and other people, then you obviously need to repair some loose ends to makes things become good.
2. Again, by working on yourself, you will gain better self-understanding and familiarity with your own strengths and weaknesses.
It is crucial that you recognize who you really are and what makes you strong or weak.
Indeed, if you don't know yourself, how can you possibly understand someone else?
Your ability to achieve sekf-awareness will considerably help you to identify areas which you must improve and how you can fix them.
3. Let's get one thing straight: you are not just changing to save your marriage or partnership.
Whenever you pick up that figurative hammer to fix the lose planks in your personality, you are:
- Earning self-respect and dignity
- Creating a positive self-image.
You must try your best to change the way you interact with your partner. Listen more, show empathy.
Avoid engaging in divisive actions that usually lead to troubles.
The value of this process is that you will be able to relate with others better.
4. I am convinced that we all realize that at the root of most quarrels or disagreements, lies a thick vein of indiscipline.
By reforming ourselves, we can become self-disciplined.
You can achieve this by behaving properly and decently.
Work seriously on how to handle your emotions, moderating your temper, and developing self-control.
In turn it will enable you to build positive willpower within you.
Needless to say, a partnership of well-behaved guys will coexist more peacefully.
5. Sometimes, a lack of purpose and direction may cause unruly behaviour, with its attendant outcome of interpersonal clashes.
Some of us - if not most - have passed through this route.
It helps to identify your purpose in life and apply it to your activities.
That's essential to discover your true passions and direction.
Of course it will positively rub off on your relationship, because your improved character can limit or eliminate the usual reasons for crisis in your home.
6. Another advantage of fixing your roof (i.e. correcting your flaws), is that it can transform you into a good role model.
You should try as much as possible to reinvent yourself. Become a good example to others. Avoid acts which tarnish your image or which can bring shame to your association.
If you successfully self-reform, you will not only succeed in coexisting peacefully with your partner, other family members (e.g. your children) will benefit tremendously from your display of exemplary behaviour and good leadership qualities too.
7. Lifestyle improvement is another merit of reinventing yourself.
As a matter of reality, negative lifestyle is responsible for most partnership disharmony and wrangling.
Such faultlines include drunkenness, womanizing, gossiping, laziness, arrogance, extravagance etc.
As we may recall, nobody can be absolutely right or wrong.
Therefore you must both review :
- your style of living
- what you do and how you do them
- how you handle money or finances
- how it affects your relationship
Without a doubt, you should overhaul all divisive habits or tendencies - if you sincerely desire to enhance your union.
By improving your lifestyle and embracing positive values and behaviour, you will be able to drastically reduce or even outrightly eliminate the frequency of quarrels and misunderstandings in your relationship.
8. Finally,, I believe that a common reason for divorce globally is that couples lack resilience and ability to adapt to conditions in their arrangement.
Some easily give up the fight. Others are just not ready to look at the possibility of adapting at all.
Yet, resilience and adaptability are key elements to achieve success in life, more particularly for the survival of relationships.
As a result, there is no alternative to fixing the problems.
You can start by being resilient in your efforts and staying committed to the well-being of your togetherness.
Learn to adapt to new realities or dynamics of your bond and work out how to manage challenges positively.
Being resilient and adaptable will bring the following benefits:
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